Food for thought

The biggest challenge I face and other folks say the same thing when caring for elderly is finding food that my parents like and will eat that is easy to prepare, nutritious and fast. My father does not cook to speak of . In recent months I have taught him to make macaroni and like all things he get’s obsessed so he makes 1.5 cups ( exactly) of macaroni a couple of times of week = to this he can add mayonnaise, celery, relish and have salad- he can add frozen meatballs and sauce and have spaghetti. I do not encourage him to cook any meat from raw – as he either burns it or eats it raw. In fact I try to keep it as simple as possible 3 ingredients 5 tops. Once he decides he likes something he begins using it in everything. One night he told me he had honey mustard dressing ( also a favorite) on pasta. That’s it. I could see it in my head , elbow macaroni swimming in a neon yellow dressing. Scary.

Dad will likely try anything I take him, frozen bowls meals with multiple ingredients are well rounded. I have stopped worrying about salt and sugar in these meals. He is nearly 90. Screw it be brave dad eat all that processed food you want. I take a meal 2x a week and often take something I have made to freeze as well so there are choices for healthier versions. I have switched to turkey for him over ground beef as he get’s gout. I precook turkey burgers and bag them one at a time in a ziploc for him so all he has to do is heat them up. I make turkey meatballs with a faux white sauce ( cream of chicken low sodium and milk) and put them over egg noodles. I make a sweet and sour chicken and rice for him as well. But mom – mom is a challenge. She was eating the meals I prepared and froze now she has started to say no to those. She will however eat whatever I bring on the days I am there and I eat with her.

EVERY meal she has the following macaroni salad, loaded with salad dressing, and mayonnaise ( I mix the two ) , eggs, celery, and sometimes small bits of pickle or carrot. She eats 4 deviled eggs. YES 4 . She will eat a protein if I take it albeit small amounts, hamburger patties, chicken thighs ( broiled simply with thyme) , sometimes chicken and noodles and she always has a slice of lemon cake. This must be Muffin Mam lemon cream cake. She will eat but tells me it is not good any other brand including home made.

So two times a week I cram in a lot of fat and calories. The downside is that I have to eat with them and if I ever see deviled eggs or macaroni salad again I might scream. I am so tired of it. I remember when kids are young they go through these phases of only eating white food, or only eating hot dogs, and you just go with it. If they are eating, gaining weight and healthy the doctors say continue to encourage new foods, but don’t let that be the battle of the day. For meals that I am not there she eats bologna, chicken sandwiches- sometimes with lettuce, sometimes with left over salad I have brought, or a bowl of soup. She maintains her weight but never gains and I know sometimes drops a pound or two a risk for her as she weighs less than 90 lbs.

I was arguing with her but now I have moved to the bargaining phase. Eat my lunch and you can have bologna for dinner. Or eat the bologna but also have a single serving cup of green beans. For breakfast she eats half a banana and a bowl of cinnamon life cereal. EVERY day. I encourage her to eat sandwiches only one meal then eat soup or something else for the other meal. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not.

For most of us this repeated diet would drive us nuts but I have learned that that’s exactly what she wants. She wants things to be stable in her world. She wants her world to be exactly as she expects it any change any upset is what causes her to spin into the realm of pacing and mumbling. Change is the enemy. Having an appointment on Friday is sure to make her fret and be frozen with fear from Monday on.

For example when I arrive with groceries she always says the same thing

1. Too much food ( it’s never too much) it will waste.
2. What do I do. ( help me put it away mom)
3. What do we eat on? ( Paper plates are fine mom)
4. When meal is over what do we do? ( Let’s get your apron and do the dishes mom)
5. During the meal if she is having a good day she sits, if not she eats standing up rocking.

It is the exact same thing every time. Every time I reassure her, every time I direct her. Set the table, get the silverware, get the plates, clear the table, place this in refrigerator. Yes I could do all these things, but I think it’s important to keep her busy even if that means telling her step by step what to do.

Normalcy, routine, is our friend. Change is the enemy. In this world we are in right now where things change every minute, that’s much harder to fill than it ever was before.

Todays grocery list –

Pudding cups Tapioca please ( though it took 5 minutes to get that word- you know the lumpy kind of pudding)

Bananas ( no bruised ones please)

Dressing – for lettuce ( you don’t have lettuce ) Oh then get lettuce

And Cake. Lemon Cake.

What tips or tricks are other’s using to get their parents to eat?

My preferred lunch – salad – NOT with macaroni or mayonnaise.

Added bonus for quick deviled eggs never boil them again – Use your instant pot. I set it on low pressure, 12 – 13 minutes place 6 eggs on trivet with water covering the bottom. Lock and load. I never have a hard time pealing them, I rarely have one crack. I always make 2 extra ( more than I want for deviled eggs) I use the whites cooked in salad, and the extra yolks to make the filling for the deviled eggs. That way I always have extra ‘goop’ to fill he eggs well and never have that one egg with a quarter of a dollop.